She just couldn’t get over the song. Had played it over a hundred times already and yet, it sounded so fresh. Her roommate was on the verge of losing her nerves. But she understood. Why is it that she could instantly identity with the song – the tone, the music and especially the lyrics. To the extent that it became “her song”!
She was congruously hit by the identity bug and found herself surrounded by “her favourite book”, “her favourite dress”, her “favourite shoes”, her “favourite movie”, her “favourite episode of Gossip Girl” or “her favourite Blair dress”. She could not fathom to see herself beyond them, atleast after last year!
Ears plugged into her ipod, she was walking along the road when she saw him. Dark brown eyes, wind on his face, heavy breathing into the winter air, his hands tightly holding his overcoat, smooth backswept hair and a divine smile. She felt the bitter winter air cutting through her. She could not face him, and instantly turned around. She started walking as fast as she could, and curbing her body to run or shiver. “Hey, is that you.” The sound of his voice stopped her heart – as it was about to explode and beat with a rhythm she could no longer control. She turned around to look at him. She did not understand why after a year, she still missed him and the coldness within her was not due to the weather. She felt her emotions withering away as the last leaves on a tree. Yet, somehow meeting him had brought the most genuine smile on her face since the last twelve months.
“How have you been?” She just nodded and smiled, but could not help the flush on her cheeks and the tearing pain in her heart. She noticed he was wearing cufflinks today. She had never been able to convince him, buying them and pestering him all the time. “I don’t want to look like a suited up cold man. Let me be….I love my jeans.” And today, he was wearing a well creased suit, great shoes and cufflinks!
“What are you doing here?” They had parted, and assumed their own sides of the city. Not a strictly marked line of invasion, but precariously understood area of avoidance. “I just got promoted and my office is right here.” “Congratulations. Anyway, I have to go now.” “We will catch up again.” She didn’t reply back but just waved to him. Her feet started moving quickly and she left him far behind as she wanted her past to be..
The next morning was lovely and warmer; the sun was out bright cheering people into the Valentine’s Day. Red roses had always put her off, and she never understood the point – no one cared what happened to them after they exchanged hands from one lover to the other. If even one of them didn’t love the other – there was nothing a rose could do about it. But he had always found special ways to make her smile. Last year, just before they broke up, he had painted beautiful little roses on her stairs – so that she could always “walk on roses” when she stepped out. He had loved her immensely; maybe it had been too much for her. And now, she was afraid to admit to herself how much she missed him. How she had not been able to smile until today. How meeting him after a year made her feel like she wanted him back.
Had it all been a mistake? Breaking up with the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to her. She had always wanted her freedom, and now she had it. But just to wither away listening to songs or secretly sulking in the comfort of chocolate truffles! She had spent her entire saving buying her favourite shoes and clothes and even though her closet was cheery and full, she felt the opposite. Why was she searching so hard to find herself, when she had already found herself with him! Why did she choose late night parties and the dancing over a soft shoulder she could sleep peacefully on!
She had always hated Valentine’s Day and the over-agile depictions of it made her nauseous. But today, it was different. The feelings that lay dormant from the last twelve months were now enthralled. She chose her favourite lace dress and red pumps. All decked up and ready to go, she looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. The apartment door opened and her roommate stared in disbelief. She just laughed at her roommate “I want to be cliché today.” “Did I miss something?” “Will tell you everything when I come back. Happy Valentine’s day.” She rushed out the door and slammed it shut.
Outrageously opposite to her beliefs, but she was going to do it. She picked up a bunch of red roses, even if sold at a preposterous price – some things were worth it all! She remembered the building he had pointed to, and she knew her way well – yes, this was her side of the city! The frills of her dress flew with the gust of wind, but she didn’t care. She just smiled. Hope he understood her as well – if he truly loved her, he would. Why would he not, she was the one to leave him. How she remembered his pleadings and they played loudly in her ears. She would go and plead out her love to him today.
Hair in the wind, and overcoat barely on her, she did not care about the harshness of the winter air anymore! And that was the moment she saw him, when all her emotions lighted up again after a whole year. He was rushing to catch a cab, she rushed to surprise him. She suddenly stopped when she saw him kiss the lady who came in the taxi. She ushered behind a tree and watched. He planted on her the most passionate kiss she had ever known. She knew then, that he was never going to be her’s anymore. The girl smiled and handed him a small package wrapped in glittering paper. He held her in his arms and refused to let go. They both smiled and boarded the same taxi as she watched with the bunch of roses in her hand.
A tear trickled from her eye, and harshness melted. All along, she had been angry with herself and him, for letting go. Now she knew, he had truly moved on, while she had been stuck in the darkness of oblivion. Heartbroken and sad, she gave the roses to a beggar woman who was enthralled to see them, but failed to find a real use for flowers. Last light of the day took away with it all signs of hope and love. And lay beyond it was just another dark night and the day after Valentine’s Day – yet another day!
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